11-06-2011, 07:22 PM
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#123
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Bovinus Administratus
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Greener pastures
Posts: 32,377
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Quote:
(Pharmacy | California, USA)
(I work in the OTC section of a well-known pharmacy chain. I’m stocking the shelves in an aisle when a customer approaches me.)
Customer: “Excuse me. I’ve looked all over here. Where are your hemorrhoid wipes?”
Me: “Oh, those are actually down on Aisle 20.”
Customer: “Really? Why are they over there and not in this aisle with the rest of the anal care?”
Me: “I’m sorry, what?”
Customer: “Anal care!” *points at the aisle’s sign*
(The sign she was pointing at? “Analgesics”.)
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Quote:
(Movie Theater | Minden, NV, USA)
(I am cleaning the lobby in the theater when a female customer comes out of the restroom. She goes to use the drinking fountain. As with most businesses, the restrooms are located right next to the fountain.)
Customer: *aghast* “This is disgusting!”
Me: “Is there something wrong with the tap, ma’am? We do clean it often but I haven’t made it over there yet this round.”
Customer: “No, it is lovely. You do a fine job. It was just horrible!”
Me: “If there is nothing wrong, why was it horrible?”
Customer: “Because when I was drinking the water, I heard a toilet flush in the restroom and it made the water pressure go down!”
Me: “Well, yes. The plumbing is connected as they both draw from the–”
Customer: “That water that I was drinking? A minute later, if I hadn’t come along, it would have been used to flush someone’s waste? That is so disgusting! I can’t believe it!”
Me: “Well, would you rather the water pressure went up when you heard the flush?”
(The customer takes a step back and looks confused. Suddenly, the implication of my statement reaches her nearly hysterical mind and she flees the building with a look of horror on her face.)
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Quote:
(Call Center | South Australia, Australia)
Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [company]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, I was wondering if I can get my customer account number? I seem to have lost it.”
Me: “Not a problem. I just need to ask you a few questions to verify your identity. What is your full name?”
(The customer gives me his first and last name. I find him in the system, but I require him to state his full name with first, second, and last name. At this point, I notice that his second name is a bit…unusual.)
Me: *trying not to giggle* “I’m sorry, but I will require your full name, your first, second, and last name.”
Customer: “Really? Haha, but I was drunk when I registered. Do I really have to say it? You can see it right there. Surely, I don’t need to say it out loud?”
Me: “Yes, I can see it. It certainly helps in the identification process, which is why I need you to say it for me.”
Customer: “All right. Okay, my name is [first name] buttmonkey [last name].”
Me: “Thank you–”
Customer: “I really need to net nanny the Internet when I drink.”
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