[theholycow]

(Coffee Shop | Clyde, OH, USA)

Customer: “I’d like a half decaf, half caffeinated skim milk latte, medium size.”

(I make the latte with her staring at me the entire time, apparently making sure I’m making it right.)

Me: “Here’s your half caf grande nonfat latte.”

Customer: “You said half caf? You made the other half decaf, right?”

Me: “Well, yes. If one half is caffeinated, then the other half has to be decaf, right?”

Customer: “You don’t need to be smart!”

(She walks away ticked off and complaining to her friend saying she better not be awake all night because I’m unable to make her drink correctly.)

(Cafe | Kansas City, MO, USA)

(I work for a small local cafe. It’s late in the evening and I am busy with tables and to-go orders. A customer calls to put in an order.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [cafe]. What can I get for you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I need one chicken gyro and a cream soda to go.”

Me: “Anything else for you this evening?”

Caller: “No, but I am in a hurry. Could you just bring it out to the car for me? I just went into labor and cannot get out of the car.”

Me: “Um…is there anyone else with you?”

Caller: “Only my two year old.”

Me: “Oh, okay. I’ll bring it out to you when you arrive.”

(It actually takes an extra 30 minutes for her to drive up and pick up her order. Surprisingly, when she arrives, she sits in the car for another 20 minutes and eats her meal all while she’s in labor with a 2 year old in the back seat.)

(Hotel | Boone, NC, USA)

Customer: “What’s up there?” *pointing at the stairs*

Me: “Those stairs take you to the second floor and the breakfast area.”

Customer: “So, like, if we walk up those stairs, we’ll be on the second floor?”

Me: “Yes, that’s generally what happens when you go up stairs.”

Customer: “That’s so cool! They’ve got stairs and an elevator!”