[theholycow]

(Coffee Shop | Blue Jay, CA, USA)

(We are a brand-new business. We’ve only been open for one week at this point. We open earlier than our competition because it’s a potential market.)

Customer: “What time do you open in the morning?”

Me: “5:00 am.”

Customer: “But [competition] opens at 6:00.”

Me: “Yes, they do.”

Customer: “So, why do you open at 5:00?”

Me: “Because some people leave for work before 6:00.”

Customer: “But [competition] doesn’t open until 6:00, so how can you open at 5:00?!”

(My parents are having dinner at a popular pizza arcade; it’s also where my little sister and I work. They happen to be sitting within earshot of the following conversation.)

My boss, to me: “You. Go put on the [character] costume for [male coworker's] party.”

Me, to male coworker: “Aww, I hate having to wear that costume. I just know those kids are going to attack me again.”

(My male coworker wraps his arms around my shoulder.)

Male coworker: “It’s okay, I’ll protect you. If any little kids come up to you, I’ll beat them up for you!”

(He starts to walk me back to the costume room and we pass right by my parents.)

Mom: *yelling* “Quick! Marry him now! Your father would never beat up any little kids for me while I was wearing a rat costume!”

(Office | Orange County, CA, USA)

Me: “Good morning, this is [name] at [company]. How may I help you?

Caller: “May I please speak to [co-worker]?”

Me: “He is not in the office today. May I take a message?”

Caller: “No, I just wanted to confirm if he got my email. Can you have him call me and let me know?”

Me: “Of course, may I get your name and phone number?”

(The customer proceeds to give me a phone number, the spelling of her name, and a detailed message.)

Me: “Okay, I have everything. I’ll be sure to give him your message as soon as possible.”

Caller: “No! I didn’t want to leave a message. I just want him to call me back.”

Me: “But you do want me to tell him it’s regarding your email, correct?”

Caller: “Yes! And don’t forget to let him know about the change in time.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll give him the message.”

Caller: “I’m not leaving him a message! I just want you to give him that information!”