All Offtopic Forums

All Offtopic Forums (http://www.allofftopic.com/index.php)
-   Anything Goes (http://www.allofftopic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=2)
-   -   Dream thread (http://www.allofftopic.com/showthread.php?t=749)

theholycow 11-03-2010 12:17 PM

Dream thread
 
Sometimes I have dreams. Usually if I do I don't remember but once in a while I do. Usually they make no sense, with things changing in the dream unnoticed (example: I'm in a garage, oh now it's a bunker and nothing seems weird about that), but they're still funny at times. Here's a funny one.

I was helping my friend with the beater Ranger or S10 (5 speed manual :)) he bought. I drove it home and used it to take some trash to an out of state dump (I knew why in the dream but I no longer remember why, except that in the dream later I realized I could have brought it to my local dump after all). I was driving back from the dump, and apparently I have kids in my dream because I was teaching them to drive and I was sitting in the truck bed. A decent looking housewife is out on the street, I think putting her trash out, and I stare at her cleavage as she bends over. She sees that and pulls out her boobs. Then she's walking after the truck (somehow, walking speed and driving speed are similar in my dream even though her walk doesn't seem fast and the drive doesn't seem slow). She's showing off the goods and I decide to whip my junk out to show her. She's happy to see it. So she's catching up to the truck and then I notice her husband in a wheelchair holding on to the truck, smiling because he supports what's going on. Again nothing strikes me as odd. She gets in the truck with me and sits on my lap and I finger her asshole. Then I'm like hey I'm married and this is NOT ok so she leaves and then I'm driving my buddie's truck again and I notice there's some brown on my finger so I laugh as I wipe it on his floor carpet. Then I fiddle around with the radio trying to find something to listen to, and there's something I no longer remember about the broken radio that's on the floor under the seat...

I would never do these things in real life, but it was an interesting dream.

stonehenge 11-03-2010 01:41 PM

Re: Dream thread
 
Rofl so cliffs be:

- Borrowed friends ranger
- Drove to dump in another state
- Kids drove back while you sat in the bed and whipped out your junk and then fingered some womans anos for a few minutes as her wheelchair bound husband watched
- You said FTS and told the bish to gtfo.
- Wiped feces on your friends rangers carpet.

:roflmao:

stonehenge 11-03-2010 01:42 PM

Re: Dream thread
 
Oh and I'm the same. I rarely remember my dreams for longer than a few seconds after I wake up. When I do remember them tho, they are usually fairly jesty. Will try to post up next time I remember one.

theholycow 11-03-2010 01:53 PM

:repz: for cliffs jest.

stonehenge 11-03-2010 02:01 PM

Re: Dream thread
 
:cheeky:

VmaxEngage 11-03-2010 07:38 PM

lol here's cliffs for mine, it was too long and weird to type out.

-Remember riding huge surfboards with tanks on them
-Sped accross the lake on the boards to a frozen part and went swiming.
-Got out of water and hooked up with a chick from highschool.
-Woke up to a diff chick from HS vacuuming and hooked up with her.
-Mysteriously ended up at fancy restaurant with another different chick from HS.

Then i woke up lol :wtf:

stonehenge 11-03-2010 07:40 PM

:roflmao: last cliff:

-Eventually fucked whole HS.

VmaxEngage 11-03-2010 08:04 PM

lol if I would have kept sleeping...it might be possible :hmm:

fatkidkustomz 11-03-2010 08:26 PM

I smashed my best friend's old lady in one of my dreams not too long ago.

Short version:

Some dude was fucking with her wherever we were at, and his name was Hans. No idea why... lmao. So I stood up to him, made him cry like a little girl without even touching him (the power of words... right on.) Then she hugged me, and kissed me on the cheek. Then it went the whole "chick flick" way and we looked at each other and you know what happened after that.

Felt guilty... told them both about it, but not in a serious, "We gotta talk" way. That, and to save my ass just in case I ever slept over and they heard me say something in my sleep. :rofl2:

The conversation about it was jestier than the dream though.

(Keep in mind she was standing right beside me the whole time)
Friend: "Was she good?"
Me: "Ummm.... honestly?"
Friend: "Yeah... honestly, I mean it's not like you actually did it, it was just a dream"
Me: "True. Not gonna lie, best sex dream ever."
Friend: "Fuck it... ask her to make it real for you. Ain't no fun unless my homie gets some."
Her: "Give me a week... cause yeah..."
Me: "Ewwww"
Friend: "Dammit! Really? You were fine earlier!"

I roffled very hard.

stonehenge 11-03-2010 08:28 PM

:jester:

VmaxEngage 11-03-2010 08:28 PM

hahah that one was good

theholycow 11-03-2010 09:26 PM

:roflhigh5:

SarkOzy 11-03-2010 10:13 PM

I had a dream months ago that I completely created an ignition module for a Jaguar from scratch. Complete from the breadboard up. Still remember a vision or two from it.


That's when I realized I work too much.

shootermcgavin003 11-04-2010 02:30 AM

all my dreams have some portion that come true its usually the most no important thing but thats what happens it stupid and sucks

.GARY. 11-04-2010 03:31 AM

I haven't really had any dreams I remember in awhile now. When I do its either some form of sex and nudity with random hot looking women or I'm involved in blowing some shit up somehow involving wars/battles/zombies and stuff. Yeah, I dont know :roflshrug:

Cez★ 11-04-2010 03:33 AM

i usually forget after i wake up or if i wake up in the middle of the nightt and go back to sleep i forget too. will keep a notebook and write shit down next time :roflshrug:

shootermcgavin003 11-04-2010 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by .GARY. (Post 184481)
I haven't really had any dreams I remember in awhile now. When I do its either some form of sex and nudity with random hot looking women or I'm involved in blowing some shit up somehow involving wars/battles/zombies and stuff. Yeah, I dont know :roflshrug:

so yours never come true

mine do there not interesting last time i dreamed i was stuck in road construction looking a bright blindy light on a truck

2 days later i was

theholycow 11-04-2010 12:05 PM

Jeff, if you ever dream that you mail me a winning lottery ticket, you better start fucking mailing me some lottery tickets.

Last night I had a dream that the wife and I went on vacation somewhere. She was sucking my dick on the bed while I grabbed her ass, then she stopped before I alerted and we went out. There were like towers and stuff, didn't notice in the dream but now I think it looked British. So we're on this huge conveyor belt going up and she gets on top of me, puts her tits in my face, but won't fuck.

Goddamn it, I can't get no satisfaction!

SarkOzy 11-04-2010 01:22 PM

:wtf:

stonehenge 11-04-2010 01:41 PM

Re: Dream thread
 
:roflsquared: cao has teaser dreams

shootermcgavin003 11-05-2010 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theholycow (Post 184783)
Jeff, if you ever dream that you mail me a winning lottery ticket, you better start fucking mailing me some lottery tickets.

Last night I had a dream that the wife and I went on vacation somewhere. She was sucking my dick on the bed while I grabbed her ass, then she stopped before I alerted and we went out. There were like towers and stuff, didn't notice in the dream but now I think it looked British. So we're on this huge conveyor belt going up and she gets on top of me, puts her tits in my face, but won't fuck.

Goddamn it, I can't get no satisfaction!

like i said there never anything important

BillyJeanKing 11-05-2010 12:15 AM

i was sitting at mah computer and my chair/ area around me resembled a black ferrari F430

it was like my computer chair was a ferrari

stonehenge 11-05-2010 01:46 AM

Re: Dream thread
 
DFW rarri shair

fatkidkustomz 11-06-2010 03:17 PM

I really gotta stop dreaming about best friend's chick.... last night bitch got me shot. But dude that shot me got himself dead when I fired back, so I guess I won. Fucking scary ass dream.

BillyJeanKing 11-06-2010 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juan! (Post 185814)
DFW rarri shair

:word:



Quote:

Originally Posted by fatkidkustomz (Post 186693)
I really gotta stop dreaming about best friend's chick.... last night bitch got me shot. But dude that shot me got himself dead when I fired back, so I guess I won. Fucking scary ass dream.

CSB :clap:

stonehenge 11-06-2010 05:54 PM

Re: Dream thread
 
Corn pen0r be sexing dangerous wimmenz

fatkidkustomz 11-07-2010 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KOURKE (Post 186697)
CSB :clap:

I went with the short version. Long version:

I think it had to do with me watching Cops before bed. And the cheesecake ice cream me and her went out for earlier that night. So the dream goes that we're in DC... like not the nice part. I had to piss like horribly.


I pull over at a 7-11 to get a drink and drain the worm. Dude started talking to me, trying to scam some shit from me when I got out of the truck. So I politely tell him, "Look man, I gotta go in here and piss right quick. We'll talk later." Figuring if I spent a minute in there, he's gonna get bored and leave.

So she stays in the truck, so after I get away from this dude into the store, I keep an eye on him, and of course, he goes over to my truck and starts fucking with her. I think in my head, "Not today bro-chacho."

So I go outside, tell him to leave her the fuck alone. He starts spewing some shit, so I straight Goldberg spear his ass and proceed to beat the fuck out of this dude. Finally, I let him up and tell him to get the fuck outta here.

He gets up, runs to his car, jumps in and shoots me through the windshield. Hits me in the shoulder. I remember looking at the wound like Terminator. Then I looked back at him, and didn't even flinch. His eyes got as big around as a dinner plate. So I say, "Ok... it's like that?"

Go into my truck and grab what turned out to be my brother's Sig .40 cal (I'm in love with that gun), and turned back around, just in time to get hit again. This one knocked me down. But, as I'm falling, I group 3 .40 rounds in a space about the size of a $.50 piece, right between the motherfucker's eyes.

Then of course cops, ambulance, etc. shows up... and all I could hear was the cops talking about me being a badass shot. It was fucked up... lol. :roflshrug:


Quote:

Originally Posted by Juan! (Post 186723)
Corn pen0r be sexing dangerous wimmenz

I didn't even get the booty... I got half dead. But I survived though. :happy:

theholycow 11-07-2010 04:36 PM

I remember a little bit of what I dreamed last night. I think it was related to the King Of The Hill episode I watched before going to sleep where Bill got a flat tire and waved at cars and they all honked and waved back. In my dream I was roadside with a flat and I changed the tire. There was something about someone stopping to see if we needed help while I was putting the jack away. I don't remember the rest but my wife tells me I was trying to jack her ass up while I was asleep. :jester:

stonehenge 11-07-2010 05:08 PM

Re: Dream thread
 
It was probably some sort if pr0n scenario like "this bitch with huge tits pulled over to help so I took my dick out and fucked her while the kids drove home" :uhoh:

theholycow 11-07-2010 05:54 PM

Somebody had some fucked up dreams:
http://voicefromthepillowreviews.blo...e-aged-21.html

BillyJeanKing 11-07-2010 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatkidkustomz (Post 187123)
I went with the short version. Long version:

tldr

fatkidkustomz 11-08-2010 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KOURKE (Post 187151)
tldr

:rofltank: Awesome. +rep

BillyJeanKing 11-08-2010 03:53 AM

:fuckyeah:

theholycow 11-13-2010 12:52 PM

Cliff's for the lazy: Dude is cutting down trees in my yard, I want to threaten him with my CO2 pellet pistol but I can't find it.

Wife and I are chilling in the living room when I notice a HUGE tree (like 20-30 feet in diameter, probably hundreds of feet tall) from the side of our yard that has been cut down and is being sucked into a trailer that is chopping, milling, or chipping it. After the 2nd or 3rd tree like that I see the top tip of one that has been cut off, about two feet diameter, and I count the rings (it is in the living room or just outside the window and I lean out). I count 50 or 100 rings or maybe more. I go outside and I see that the yard has lost its privacy and shade. I tell the guy to leave and he refuses. I go inside to get the BB pistol. Inside is now the inside of my parents' old house. I check my room and the basement office and I can't find the BB pistol. I think about grabbing a hammer to bash the guy's truck or my truck and a chain to drag his truck away.

BillyJeanKing 11-13-2010 12:54 PM

:lol: @ cliffs

theholycow 11-13-2010 01:30 PM

Holy shit, what a full night, I just remembered another.

Cliff's: Weird bathroom at work, boss gives me multi-gaming console and retro-looking computer.

At work the place is totally redesigned like an elementary school. I go to the bathroom to pee and the urinals are all mounted in weird positions. Finally I manage to pee in one and I go to one of a bunch of weirdly positioned sinks to wash my hands. Some dude on a tour asks me about the paper towel dispenser I just used and I notice that I got like ten layers of paper towels. I think he was a parent of a potential student and was impressed. I notice beyond the sinks there's a big TV and some couches and some people sitting around watching TV and I think that's pretty interesting but weird for being in a bathroom, then I notice the hall continues from there and the sinks are actually outside the bathroom doorway.

I'm in a crowded living room of some sort and my boss is there. He says he's giving me an early Christmas present and directs me to look in a box. In that box I find a game console with slots for at least 3 different kind of classic game cartridges, some other stuff, and what looks like an ancient computer with a common multi-format card reader built-in. On further investigation I see that its inside is mostly gutted, but one of the floppy drives mounted diagonally on each side has a tiny modern computer which runs everything.

stonehenge 11-13-2010 05:15 PM

Re: Dream thread
 
Bamf entertainment bathroom imo.

I dreamed that I kicked the shit out of our schipperke. I didn't kill her or anything but when I was done she finally stfu. I think this is because before bed she wouldn't stop barking. :uhoh:

Cez★ 11-13-2010 05:18 PM

i dreamt i was banned from gmfs for life

MikeH 11-13-2010 05:23 PM

Re: Dream thread
 
Your dream will more than likely come true :rofl:

stonehenge 11-13-2010 05:25 PM

Re: Dream thread
 
No azns in the dream? Sounds lame to Cez standards.


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:35 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.