theholycow |
07-31-2011 10:58 PM |
http://notalwaysright.com/man-cannot...ter-alone/1401
Quote:
Me: “Hello, ma’am. ¬†Can I get you anything to drink?”
Customer: “Yes, please. I would like a glass of water.”
Me: “Coming right up.”
Me: delivering the water* “There you are, ma’am. Have you decided what you want to order?”
Customer: *downing the water* “Wow, this water is great. Do you happen to have any more, sweetie?”
Me: “Er…yeah we do. Do you want another glass?”
Customer: “I would appreciate it.”
(I go to get her another glass of water, and as soon as I come back, she begins to speak up about the menu.)
Customer: “Oh Lord! Don’t you have any vegetarian stuff here?”
Me: “I’m sorry miss, but this is a bar and grill. We have salads, but they all come with chicken or beef.”
Customer: “That’s inhumane! Don’t you know what you’re doing to the animals?”
Me: “I think you should go to a vegan restaurant. What did you expect from a bar and grill?”
Customer: “Don’t give me your sass! I just want some non-animal food! Don’t you have any of that?”
Me: “Well..we have grilled cheese, and–”
Customer: *cutting me off* “WHAT?! CHEESE COMES FROM MILK, WHICH COMES FROM COWS! I’M NOT EATING THAT!”
Me: “I’m sorry then, ma’am, there’s really nothing for you here. Please quiet down; you’re disturbing the other customers.”
Customer #2: *from across the room* “Listen to what he tells you, you stupid b****!”
Customer: “Goodness! You god**** animal murderers deserve to go to hell! *pause* “Er, sonny, may I get another glass of that water?”
Me: “OUT!”
Customer #2: *from across the room* “Mmm… murder.”
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http://notalwaysright.com/behind-eve...assed-wife/448
Quote:
(The place I work at, our dining room closes at 10pm but the drive-through stays open all night. I had just locked both the dining room doors when a man comes up and starts banging on the 1st door. We start talking through the door.)
Me: “Sorry, we’re closed.”
Customer: “You screwed up my order!”
Me: “I’m sorry. You could go through our drive-through and they’d be happy to help you.”
Customer: “I just came through! They’re the ones that messed it up.”
Me: “I’m really sorry about that, if you go through again they’ll fix it for you.”
Customer: “I don’t have my car!”
Me: “But you said you just went through?”
Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have my car anymore.”
Me: “I can give you our store number. If you call, we’ll replace your order tomorrow.”
Customer: “Just open the door!”
Me: “I can’t sir, we’re closed.”
(The man then walks around the store to the 2nd door and starts banging there.)
Me: “Sir, the only way we can fix this is if you go through the drive-through or give us a call.”
Customer: “I don’t have a phone!”
Me: “You can save your receipt and show it to us tomorrow. We’ll replace the whole order.”
Customer: “This is bullshit!”
(He then enters the drive-through on foot, weaving through cars in line, gets between the drive-through window and a car waiting to order and starts banging on the glass.)
Manager: “I’m sorry sir, I can’t open the window unless you’re in a car.”
Customer: “I don’t have my car anymore and you messed up my order. Tell your employees to open the door.”
Manager: “I’m sorry, we can’t unlock the doors once we’re closed. That’s our policy. If you return in the morning, we’ll be glad to help.”
Customer: “Don’t f*ck with me. I’ll call the cops on you! You can’t refuse service to me!”
(Just then, a car pulls up behind him. The woman driving rolls down her window.)
Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! Its not that big a deal.”
Customer: “They won’t fix our order!”
Woman: “Get in the f*cking car! This is f*cking embarrassing!”
(The man gets in and the car pulls up to the window.)
Woman: “I’m sorry. All that happened was you forgot to give us a burrito.”
Manager: “We’ll get that for you right away.”
(As soon as window is closed, the woman starts yelling at the man again.)
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http://notalwaysright.com/the-lion-t...y-cabinet/1004
Quote:
(Note: The women’s bathroom in our store has a large handicapped stall which also holds an 8 foot tall locked wooden storage cabinet for supplies. )
Coworker: “Thanks for calling *** Coffee, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, is this *** Coffee?”
Coworker: “Yes it is, how can I help you?”
Customer: “This is the *** Coffee in *** Square?”
Coworker: “Yes, it is.”
Customer: “The one with the bathroom?”
Coworker: “Uhhh… yes?”
Customer: “Oh, well, I’m calling from the women’s room. The door is locked and I cant get out.”
Coworker: “Well, if you turn the handle of the door and pull it should open.”
Customer: “There is no handle! I’m locked in!”
Coworker: “Okay, I’ll have someone over in a moment.”
Coworker, to me: “Ummm… so some lady locked herself in the bathroom and can’t get out.”
Me: “Seriously?”
(I head over to the bathroom, letting myself in with the spare keys. There is in fact a woman in the large stall, yelling for help.)
Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”
Customer: “Well, your stupid door locked me into the stall and now I’m stuck in here! ”
(I can hear her fumbling with something, but it isn’t the stall door latch.)
Me: “Okay. Well, if you’ll just come over to the stall door, turning the knob should open it.”
Customer: “There is nothing to turn! The door only has a handle!”
Me: “It does. I’m standing on the other side of it.”
Customer: “Well, then why don’t YOU open it! You’ve already kept me locked in here for a half hour!”
(I fiddle with the lock and manage to open it from the outside after a moment, only to see the woman prying at the supply cabinet door.)
Customer: “Oh, I came in this door. I thought that one…” *points to supply cabinet* “… led to the men’s room.”
(Without another word, she walks out of the bathroom and out of the store.)
Coworker: “Maybe she was trying to get to Narnia?”
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http://notalwaysright.com/its-best-t...-involved/1374
Quote:
(I’m putting up price tags, and a woman is heard screaming on her phone off in the distance.)
Customer: “Why can’t I ever make you happy? Nothing I ever do for you is enough…. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? YOU’RE NEVER HAPPY!”
(She stops at the condoms section; the section I’m working on at the time, and grabs a 30-pack of condoms.)
Customer: “You know what? I’m getting condoms at ****. BE READY WHEN I GET HOME.” *storms off*
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http://notalwaysright.com/marriage-t...ery-slope/2320
Quote:
(I work in the shipping and receiving department of a furniture store, where customers ring a bell so I can give them their box. We also have a loading dock for semi’s.)
Outside: *BANG! BANG!*
(Alarmed, I go to the loading dock where I see an E-class Mercedes sliding repeatedly down the icy incline and crashing into the building.)
Me: “Sir! Sir! What are you doing?”
Customer: “I’m trying to pick up my f***ing table! You call this customer pick-up?”
Me: “No, Sir. We call this the loading dock. The customer service door is right over here.” *points at door*
Customer: “F***! Would you come down here and help push my car up the grade while I floor it?”
Me: “Sir, that incline is solid ice. If I slip or your car slides down, I could be killed. So, no, I won’t do that.”
Customer: “Well, f*** you!”
Me: “Okay, sir. Just ring this bell over here when you get out.”
(After a few more minutes and several more crashing noises, the bell rings. I open the door and it’s the same customer standing outside.)
Me: “Hello, sir. How may I help you?”
Customer: “I need this.” *hands me slip*
Me: “Okay, sir, I’ll have that ready right here for you. Would you like some help getting it into the car?”
Customer: “F*** you!”
(The customer takes the box by himself and attempts to fit box into his back seat but fails, as it’s filled with various items. He pulls out a child’s stroller and throws it across the road and into the woods, where it catches and hangs on a tree branch. He then proceeds to throw all other items in his car out onto road. The whole time, his wife is standing with me and watching.)
Customer’s wife: “Here you go.” *gives me a $10 tip*
Me: “Good luck with that guy.”
Customer’s wife: “Yeah, thanks. He’s still got to put that table together!”
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