wiping

[Ewok]

So this topic came up awhile ago on GMFS but something at work today reminded me of it...

When you wipe your ass do you stay sitting or stand up?

I was pooping at work today and we have 2 stalls in the shop shitter so one of the other body guys was deucing also and I see him stand up and start moving around (his feet under the stall wall) so I say Joe wtf are you doing dancing he said no he was wiping his ass. I said standing up? which he replied yeah how the fuck else would you do it REALLY??????

[BillyJeanKing]

fgts wipe sitting down :imo:

[shootermcgavin003]

set down im lazy

[BillyJeanKing]

^^
fgt

[shootermcgavin003]

well i dont set really i set on one cheek and kinda hover

its hard to explain wanna see?

[BillyJeanKing]

hellz yeah :naughty:

---------- Post added at 08:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:18 PM ----------

and why the fuck you keep saying "set"?

"set ya nekkid ass down and take a shit" :roflmao:

[Ewok]

I hear stand up wipers have small penises

[BillyJeanKing]

:emo:

what does it mean when you sit on the toilet and your wee-wee dips in the water?

[theholycow]

and why the fuck you keep saying "set"?

"set ya nekkid ass down and take a shit" :roflmao:

It's an annoying thing that some hillbillies, whether nekkid or not, do. They say "set" when they mean "sit".

Correct: I set the hammer down so it would sit on the edge of the table. Then I decided to sit on the table next to the hammer.
Incorrect: Any other usage of set or sit in that sentence.

Set means to place something inanimate. Sit means when something is in a place and not moving, and it means to place your own ass down.

[Ewok]

:emo:

what does it mean when you sit on the toilet and your wee-wee dips in the water?

funny that you say that my wife used to work in a nursing home and they had a guy there that his junk was so dangly that it would fall in teh water

[theholycow]

Oh, and on the sitting issue...here's my choices:

1. Reach into a nasty toilet and strain to get a good angle
2. Stand up to get clean easily and quickly

I stand.

[BillyJeanKing]

dont cows just make patties in the field :turbopuke:

---------- Post added at 08:30 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:29 PM ----------

funny that you say that my wife used to work in a nursing home and they had a guy there that his junk was so dangly that it would fall in teh water

could he tie it in a knot?

[theholycow]

My computer just got really slow for a minute. The puke smiley is more funny in slow motion.

[shootermcgavin003]

:emo:

what does it mean when you sit on the toilet and your wee-wee dips in the water?

you have a dirty wee wee

---------- Post added at 12:44 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:44 AM ----------

hellz yeah :naughty:

---------- Post added at 08:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:18 PM ----------

and why the fuck you keep saying "set"?

"set ya nekkid ass down and take a shit" :roflmao:

i type how i talk man im from eastern ky :happy:

[BillyJeanKing]

aids helmet with lots of bumps :uhoh:

[shootermcgavin003]

aids helmet with lots of bumps :uhoh:

:turbopuke:

[Cez★]

i lift one cheek and keep the other placed on the seat

[SarkOzy]

:roflmao:


With that out of the way........Not sure what kind of toilets you're using, but there is no possible way to shove my arm into the toilet and wipe my ass sitting down. :shrug:

[fatkidkustomz]

lol... I remember making this thread on GMFS. :rofl2:

I'm a stander. Always have been, always will be. Tried to convert, touched a floater with the back of my hand, scarred me for life.

[theholycow]

Maybe the sit-down guys are shitting in one of these:
http://i43.tinypic.com/msg605.jpg

[Chadster08]

How small are ya'll toilets that you actually touch your shit?




When I get done shitting, I take the my toilet paper, fold it over it self a couple times to make sure its more durable, lean to the left, whiling using my right hand(holding tp) and wipe ass.

Do this till no brown stuff is on white tp. Flush.

[BillyJeanKing]

*insert tiny hand joke*

[SarkOzy]

:roflsquared:



it's infinitely easier to just stand up and bend over a little.

[Chadster08]

Standing to wipe seems wierd as fuck to me.

[theholycow]

When I get done shitting, I take the my toilet paper, fold it over it self a couple times to make sure its more durable, lean to the left, whiling using my right hand(holding tp) and wipe ass.

Do this till no brown stuff is on white tp. Flush.

So you reach into the toilet, wipe, pull the shit-covered TP out to examine it, then reach back in to move shitty TP past your ass into the toilet?

I examine too, much easier standing.

[Chadster08]

So you reach into the toilet, wipe, pull the shit-covered TP out to examine it, then reach back in to move shitty TP past your ass into the toilet?

I examine too, much easier standing.

:shitstorm:

How else can you tell if you cleaned everything up? Gotta do what you gotta do.

[2005_Silverado]

sitting...standing if Ive been doing something and I feel my ass is all sweaty and I just need a quick wipe.

---------- Post added at 07:24 AM ---------- Previous post was at 07:23 AM ----------

When I get done shitting, I take the my toilet paper, fold it over it self a couple times to make sure its more durable, lean to the left, whiling using my right hand(holding tp) and wipe ass.

Do this till no brown stuff is on white tp. Flush.

:read: this

[SarkOzy]

just shat. confirmed method of reaching into toilet whilst sitting is impossible. small handed fuckers

[Chadster08]

You lean over jackass. its not hard to grasp the thought, you have to lean to wipe, not reach between you legs.

[2005_Silverado]

yup...transfer weight to left cheek...reach in where your right cheek used to be, wipe, inspect...repeat if necessary

[elmeano85]

How bout the olll shit an a shower when out of tp

[2005_Silverado]

:uhoh:

[BillyJeanKing]

not always an option

especially when you're in a hurry

[2005_Silverado]

ewok...u feet dangle in the air when u taking a shit? :D

[SarkOzy]

yup...transfer weight to left cheek...reach in where your right cheek used to be, wipe, inspect...repeat if necessary

thats way more effort than simply standing up. :rofljest:

[BillyJeanKing]

ewok...u feet dangle in the air when u taking a shit? :D

:roflsquared:



:nonojest:

---------- Post added at 12:00 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:40 AM ----------

I shit standing up
and wipe sitting down

:rofluhoh:

[stonehenge]

i lift one cheek and keep the other placed on the seat
How small are ya'll toilets that you actually touch your shit?

When I get done shitting, I take the my toilet paper, fold it over it self a couple times to make sure its more durable, lean to the left, whiling using my right hand(holding tp) and wipe ass.

Do this till no brown stuff is on white tp. Flush.
Standing to wipe seems wierd as fuck to me.
These.


The idea of standing up to wipe sounds so fuckin' wierd :wtf: and I don't know wtf you guys are doing that you A) Can't reach in there after leaning and B) almost touch shit/water with you hand. :roflshrug:

[2005_Silverado]

BTW, elongated toilets FTMFGDW :imo: when we was looking at options for houses...elongated toilets was #1 priority for me....nothing worse than feeling like ur gonna shit on the seat cuz its so small...i like industrial sized toilets that have the suction power to pull the shit out of you w/o u having to push. :pepper:

[stonehenge]

:roflmao: word and i like when teh toilet is tall. It sucks bad to almost fall onto a toilet because it is so low to the ground :down:

[Cez★]

DNW to wipe standing. the poo residue would get smushed and travel to other parts of the cheek :uhoh:

[stonehenge]

:word: wtf when you stand, the sheeks compress :uhoh:

Unless you gaiz has wide open sheeks? :wtf:

[theholycow]

You stand leaning over a little to prevent too much compression. While it does smoosh a little if you've got most of a turd stuck there, it's still better than the other options.

How much poo do you guys have stuck there when you're done? I thought I was bad but I don't have any compression smooshing problem.

[Cez★]

the leftover deuce depends on how bad the deuce was. sometimes its
:ahhh:
others its
:ffuuu:

[SarkOzy]

:rofljest:


put it like this...............i'd have a tough time dealing with a woman who sat down and wiped "back to front" versus standing up and wiping "front to back."


just seems bound for trouble.



and you dont stand up and squeeze teh cheeks together, :facepalm: like thc said bend over slightly

[2005_Silverado]

dont u naturally squeeze the cheeks when u stand up?

[SarkOzy]

YOU BEND OVER SLIGHTLY TO KEEP THEM APART. NOT THAT HARD TO DO.




:lol: :rofljest:

[2005_Silverado]

so u bend over, stand up bending over and wipe? :hmm: Ima try that in a few

[Cez★]

or just
:fiwdil: and not wipe :roflpuke:

[2005_Silverado]

:secretshake:

[stonehenge]

:rofljest:

put it like this...............i'd have a tough time dealing with a woman who sat down and wiped "back to front" versus standing up and wiping "front to back."

just seems bound for trouble.

and you dont stand up and squeeze teh cheeks together, :facepalm: like thc said bend over slightly
Brah you don't wipe back to front either way. You lean to THE SIDE and wipe front to back. You acting like I be reaching under mah bawlz to wipe. Fuck that noise. Pervert.
dont u naturally squeeze the cheeks when u stand up?
This.

DNW deuce sammish with sheeks bread

[SarkOzy]

so u bend over, stand up bending over and wipe? :hmm: Ima try that in a few

all in one motion. when i was just in teh stall i dont see how in the hell you can lean over to wipe. i almost fell off :wtf:

[2005_Silverado]

what if while wiping standing up, some deuce residue is dislodged and falls on ur clothing?

:ffuuu:

[theholycow]

what if while wiping standing up, some deuce residue is dislodged and falls on ur clothing?

:ffuu:

Not gonna happen. If your deuce residue is that un-sticky, then it's not stuck to your ass.

[stonehenge]

FUCK THAT

gangsta lean + wipe > standing up + wipe

FACT

[2005_Silverado]

Not gonna happen. If your deuce residue is that un-sticky, then it's not stuck to your ass.

maybe it be dislodged by the wipe and falls, landing on ur under garnments :roflshrug:

[stonehenge]

or chooz omg how does korkah do it standing up when he values his chooz so mash!?

[SarkOzy]

maybe it be dislodged by the wipe and falls, landing on ur under garnments :roflshrug:

you don't stand straight up foo. :slap:


teh ass is still over teh bowl

[stonehenge]

Just sounds like a pain in the ass way to do it :imo

[SarkOzy]

:roflmao: trying to wipe while sitting down just sounds like the most ass-backwards thing to do. but to each his own.

[stonehenge]

Of course it's ass-backwards brah, you'd have to stand up and turn around to be ass-forwards and that makes as much sense as standing up to wipe. :talocostandupwipe:

[theholycow]

maybe it be dislodged by the wipe and falls, landing on ur under garnments :roflshrug:
:shrug: I've been doing this for 27 years or so (how old was I when I started wiping my own ass?) and never had a butt nugget dislodge.
:roflmao: trying to wipe while sitting down just sounds like the most ass-backwards thing to do. but to each his own.

:word:

[stonehenge]

I've been thinking about standing up next time and it just seems so... weird.. :roflmao:

[Cez★]

id prolly lose my balance and fall back

[theholycow]

I've tried sitting down. It's wack.

[Cez★]

i nevar seen caos wipe. you must be one smart cao

[stonehenge]

I've tried sitting down. It's wack.

That's because cows stand or they lay down, cows don't really sit wtf.

[2005_Silverado]

id deuce laying down if it not be messy :pepper:

[stonehenge]

:word: pero still not standing up :down:

[2005_Silverado]

just shatted...fuck wiping standing up in a tiny ass stall...sitting is where its at :pimp:

[stonehenge]

damn right +repz

[BillyJeanKing]

BT jests :read:


After you take a shit do you wipe your ass standing up or sitting down?

I stand :dancingpoop::poop:I shit standing up
and wipe sitting down:dancingpoop:who tha hell wipes standing?

weird ass...no punwiping is for pussies.
loldont wipe just wear brown boxers no one will noticethis whole thread is just grimy.^^this thread is the shit

[stonehenge]

stand :down:

sit :thumbsup:

[Chadster08]

You gotta sit to shit.:thumbsup:

[theholycow]

Yeah, but you gotta stand to use your hand.

[Chadster08]

No you don't, I can use my hand when ever.

[theholycow]

Pfft. I can shit whenever.

[stonehenge]

sit to shit
sit to fap

win

[theholycow]

:uhoh: DNW to associate shitting with fapping.

[Cez★]

bumpkin anyone

[stonehenge]

simultaneous shit/fap = shap = win

[theholycow]

Blumpkin. :read:

[stonehenge]

shap.

[Cez★]

Blumpkin. :read:

correction repz

[stonehenge]

SHAP :pissedfist:

[2005_Silverado]

shap = stimulus of prostate glad which enhances skeet release feeling....sounds like win to me

[stonehenge]

:uhohdoor:

[Cez★]

:uhohdoor:

serio

[2005_Silverado]

:roflshrug:

[elmeano85]

Blumpkin= blew doo

[Ewok]

ewok...u feet dangle in the air when u taking a shit? :D

as a matter of fact we have a handicapped stall in there and the toilet sits a little higher so the answer is yes.....:crossarms:

[BillyJeanKing]

:lol:

:nono:

[shootermcgavin003]

simultaneous shit/fap = shap = win

:roflshrug:

---------- Post added at 03:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:44 PM ----------

FUCK THAT

gangsta lean + wipe > standing up + wipe

FACT

:rofl2:

---------- Post added at 03:50 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:49 PM ----------

i have to set i get tired sometimes

[stonehenge]

:word: standing expels WAY too mash energy

[Chevrolet Fanatic]

How small are ya'll toilets that you actually touch your shit?




When I get done shitting, I take the my toilet paper, fold it over it self a couple times to make sure its more durable, lean to the left, whiling using my right hand(holding tp) and wipe ass.

Do this till no brown stuff is on white tp. Flush.

Standing to wipe seems wierd as fuck to me.

yup...transfer weight to left cheek...reach in where your right cheek used to be, wipe, inspect...repeat if necessary

These.


The idea of standing up to wipe sounds so fuckin' wierd :wtf: and I don't know wtf you guys are doing that you A) Can't reach in there after leaning and B) almost touch shit/water with you hand. :roflshrug:

I sit down, use the transfer weight method, and wipe.........like said above.

---------- Post added at 06:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:24 PM ----------

Oh, and I say "set" sometimes too. I'm from WV, I'm Jeff's redneck cousin from another state.

[shootermcgavin003]

i hate when you have to go to a questionable toliet and try to hover i usually get tired and say fuck

shittin takes alot out of ya

[Chevrolet Fanatic]

Is shapping what happens in road trip?

yRHbBWfzM4o

[shootermcgavin003]

Is shapping what happens in road trip?

yRHbBWfzM4o

well in a reverse way