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View Full Version : 30 Things You'll Never Hear a Woman Say


KOURKE
06-12-2009, 01:49 AM
1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

4. Bar food again! Kick a--.

5. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

6. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.

7. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

8. I've decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want'em?

9. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a--.

11. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

12. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

13. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer.

14. You are so much smarter than my father.

15. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch football.

16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

18. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

20. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

21. I'll be out painting the house.

22. I love it when you ride your Harley, I just wish you had more time to ride.

23. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.

25. Your mother is way better than mine.

26. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine's Day thing and buy yourself something.

27. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us, why don't you retire.

28. You need your sleep ya big silly, now stop getting up for the night feedings.

29. Look! My a-- is fatter than yours!

30. Let's get rid of my friends and keep all of yours.

theholycow
06-12-2009, 02:00 AM
20. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

My wife talks about that. The Playboy subscription she got me for my last birthday turned out to be kinda lame...who knew they had so many flat chicks in that magazine?

25. Your mother is way better than mine.

She definitely says that.

Cez★
06-12-2009, 02:27 AM
I hope to hear a couple of those things lol

$hithead
06-16-2009, 06:54 PM
2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
(my office was the strip club and....she bailed)

3. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover

9. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

10. Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare a--.

16. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

17. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

18. You're so sexy when you're hung over.

19. I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

20. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

23. Honey, our new neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, come see!

24. No, No, I'll take the car to have the oil changed.
(this one kinda works...i'm a mechanic so the car wouldn't actually go anywhere.)

however, for all these, ask NE, i have either said or will say all of them. most definately the ones pertaining to football, beer, and women.